Big Picture Revisions and Small Revisions

Youths in the Foster Systems

Meets Objective


I ranked myself “meets objective,” because this piece took a lot of revisions and they made my piece sound more academic and more interesting. I am not a master because I definitely have room to improve. I got a decent grade on this paper but because of the many revisions I had to make. I was able to go from this to this. I also made small revisions such as changing my transitions from saying that “youths are also seen as disposable because they aren’t given money once they age out,” to, “Youths that are coming to the age of “aging out,” gain no money to help support their basic needs. These youths often struggle to find food, shelter, and other basic needs without financial support.” This wasn’t much growth but I did feel like I improved instead of staying the same by changing the topic suddenly with no reason. I have room for more improvement, but I changed a lot already this year and am willing to learn new ideas to make me improve even more as a writer.

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